The Ivybridge Bookshop Book Signing Event

Hi all,

As I said in my last blog post, I attended a book signing event at The Ivybridge Bookshop! There were twenty-eight authors in total who attended, listed here:

Margaret Arnold

Charles Becker

Sue Blackmore

T P Fielden

Biku Ghosh

Alan Grant

Trevor Griffiths

Eleanor Halton

Adam Hart-Davis

Kathryn Harries

Judith Hasell

Alison Huntingford

Kevin Jefferys

Mary McClarey

Laurence McPartlin

Julian Mitchell

Jenny Moore

Pip Payne

Tony Rea

John Simes

Ewen Southby-Tailyour

Julian Stockwin

Clive Venables

Veryan Williams-Wynn

Jane Whittington

Anne Willingale

And of course, me!

The poster for the event

There were quite a lit of people in the shop itself, which made it quite nerve wracking. I was one of the last to talk about my book, and read a short excerpt from Blood and Water about Aqueous hatching. It was fun to hear about other authors talking about their books and how they've sold. A lot of the authors based their books in the Devon area of the UK, often in the crime or mystery genre. I was one of the few that wrote Young Adult Fantasy.

I bought three books while I was there, which I have added to my to be read pile! My boyfriend, who came along to support me, ended up buying a book too!

A collection of photos from the event, courtesy of The Ivybridge Bookshop

Unfortunately, none of my books sold while I was there. I also brought along holographic stickers of Aqueous, a dragon character from my books, but no-one had any of those either. In total, I sold no books and didn't sign any either. It's disappointing, but I'm still glad that I did it. While waiting to read I was getting anxious, and when I spoke to the audience my hands were shaking so much that I had to cut my excerpt short. Still, it's good experience for if I get invited to one of these events again. It was nice to speak to other authors about their journeys in writing and see all of their books on display in one place.

You can check out the books by local authors here (includes the complete Elemental Dragons series!): Ivybridge and South Devon Authors

There are currently four of each of the Elemental Dragons books in stock, so if you want to buy my books and support a bookshop I would recommend getting them from the link above! I will also being doing a giveaway of some holographic stickers… So keep an eye out for that too!

That's it for this week, I hope you enjoyed reading! For an idea of next week's blog post, keep an eye on my social media... See you next week!

PS; looking for some free books? Check out the amazing ones in this bundle!

High Summer: August Fantasy & Science Fiction Giveaway

Audra's Mental Health in Mute

Hi all!

This week I'm talking about Mute again! It's only a few months until its available, and I thought I would discuss the main character.

Her treatment throughout the book is based off of mine when I was in school. Although Audra's is a lot worse. She doesn't verbally speak a line of dialogue throughout the book, which is intentional. Her anxiety is so bad that she can only communicate through text message. Even within her own family, she barely speaks.

Because of the fact that she can't speak, the other characters treat her differently. They turn on her quite easily, and see her as below them. This is especially prevalent with two of her lecturers. One threatens to fail her if she doesn't speak, while the other is passive aggressive towards her. Neither offer to make her feel more comfortable in their classes, or allow her to defend herself. One lecturer, Yang, manipulates her into believing he's on her side. He helps her when the other lecturers are nasty, and punishes students who bully her. However, his motives for doing this aren't the best.

When she does try to stand up for herself the other characters instantly shut her down. They try to make her feel bad for lashing out, and try to justify their behaviour that their lives are worth something while hers isn't. This obviously takes a toll on Audra, who for the first time believed that she was starting to make friends. As the book goes on, she starts losing faith in everyone around her. A few times she tries to prove herself as useful, but the others don't care. Her own thoughts make her feel worse and worse, and she even considers if she deserves this reaction from them. They are deliberately making her anxiety worse, which just makes them more frustrated with her.

That's why she cares about Solaris so much. As a cat, he doesn't care if she speaks or not. She's helping him try to defeat the wendigo, which is more than good enough in his eyes. I used to rely heavily on my cat, Rocky, when I got home from school as I felt like he was the only one who wouldn't judge me. He'd sit on my lap and purr away without a care in the world, which would also ease my feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. You could say that Solaris is based off Rocky, apart from tracking down a cannibalistic wendigo!

This is an uncomfortable topic to talk about as it resonates with me so strongly. I hope you enjoyed reading, and now feel you have a better insight into Audra's actions and feelings. See you next week.

PS; take a look at the books in this fantasy bundle, all on sale!

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Mental Health in Elemental Dragons

Hi all!

As it was Mental Health Day yesterday I thought I'd talk about the mental health of my characters in the Elemental Dragons series. When I first wrote Blood and Water I had undiagnosed anxiety and depression. I thought that these feelings were normal, so my characters also felt the same way. It wasn't until two years later that I realised that this wasn't normal and that I had accidentally given my characters mental health issues. The characters that have mental health issues are:

Hazel.

Wes.

Marco.

Ray.

As the book is read through Hazel's eyes we see her struggles the most, especially with her anxiety. As I thought these thoughts were normal at the time I never thought anything of it when I wrote Hazel's character to think the same way. In the books she suffers with her anxiety a lot, from public speaking to unwanted attention. After I was diagnosed with anxiety I decided to keep her character that way to give some insight into mental health. Every time she second guesses herself it reminds me of when I was untreated, as I had doubts about everything I did. Including writing books.

Wes also has a degree of anxiety, though his is mild compared to Hazel's. He hates public speaking but finds his confidence through Ray. Having someone to support you at your lowest can be the best thing to have, as you don't feel so alone. Although Ray was manipulating Wes, he didn't care. He looks up to him and sees him as his saviour and mentor, someone to rely on when his doubts become too prevalent again.

Although Marco doesn't have as much anxiety, he has depression. This is in part due to trauma and also his isolation by his brother. Mason inadvertently pushed him away when they were young, which made their bond suffer. Marco feels he can no longer rely on his twin, and instead has Hazel as his 'partner in crime'. Especially since Mason chose Sadie over him in book two, this has only made those feelings worse. The others find him too mopey to be around sometimes, and Rocky hates him for his love of Hazel. While Hazel was a year behind in Primary Camp, Rocky bullied him relentlessly with his friends and pushed him further into a depressive state. As the books go on he gets better, but still doesn't feel the same as he used to.

A lot of readers overlook Ray as having mental health issues as he's the antagonist. However, he has suffered a horrific childhood trauma at the hands of the government, which cost him his best friend, Fae. Ever since he's been desperate to take them down, and finds the perfect opportunity to lead the Cindaraans. He still suffers from horrible nightmares of his burning friend appearing to him to chastise him for not doing enough to help dragons.

Some have also asked me if the dragons can suffer mental health issues, which the answer is yes. This is not explored as much in the books so far, though I hope to delve into it a bit further in the future. The main one is Bluey, who has feelings of survivors guilt due to his companion dying. He also suffers from nightmares, but puts a brave face on for his friends, who don't really seem to notice his inner feelings.

That's it for this week. I hope you enjoyed reading, see you next week!

PS, looking for some new books to read before Halloween? Check these out!

September Children’s Books Giveaway

It’s an ‘Always be a Unicorn’ Autumn

How Writing has Improved my Mental Health

Hi all, 

It's been a while since I made a blog post about mental health, so I thought I would talk about how writing has greatly improved my mental health and hopefully it can help anyone suffering too. 

I suffer from depression and anxiety, though I am nowhere near as bad as I used to be. Now that I'm medicated and out of school I'm much happier mentally. A change of scenery can do wonders for mental health. I used to have frequent panic attacks and depressive episodes, but that has decreased a lot. I feel much more human than I used to be. 

It's an outlet. 

No matter what mood I'm in, I can rely on my writing as a way to get my feelings down. I can use my life experiences in my writing and how I wanted to deal with them or how I dealt with them. For example when I was at school I was ignored most of the time, but then I could write about characters who were great friends and it would cheer me up. I could write anything I wanted. 

Your writing won't judge you. 

You are the creator of the story, you decide what happens. Your writing and your characters won't judge you. You can write freely without fear of being taunted by others. 

You can be anything. 

All authors write a little bit of themselves in their stories. This means when you're down you can write yourself as anything. A dragon rider, a cat or the leader of a faction of survivors. You can be anything you want and you can do anything you want. 

It's an escape. 

I read and write to escape from reality. I still believe that fiction is better to take my mind off things rather than talking to someone about it. 

A hobby makes you feel better. 

Getting up and doing something gives you something else to think about. When I'm writing I find that I'm thinking less about how anxious or depressed I am when I go through bad spots. 

It combats loneliness. 

Writing your characters can help with loneliness, which I used to suffer from a lot when I was at school. You can write how your characters interact and who is friends with who. They can't ignore you as they are in your head. 

You can help others. 

I write for all the depressed and anxious teenagers out there that need an escape from their lives. Your writing can not only help you, but it can help others too. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have books to read. 

That's it for this week, see you next week! 

Why Marketing my Book is Hard for me

Hi all,

It's been a while since I've done a post about mental health, and today I've done something that I think is worthy of a blog post.

As authors, self published or traditionally published, we have to market our books so readers can discover them. It's a lot harder than it looks, as most of it is just trial and error until you find something that works for you. Unfortunately, as a sufferer or anxiety and depression, marketing is very difficult for me to do.

Let me explain.

Today I sent four emails to various writing groups to ask them if they would be interested in reading my book.

It took me two hours to build myself up to pressing the send button on each. The amount of anxiety I felt was horrible, I felt like I was back in school again. Despite being much better than I once was as a teenager, communication is still hard for me. The feeling of 'they're just going to say no' is still very strong. I wrote those emails over and over, worrying that I'm sounding too robotic or too casual. Even now, an hour after sending those emails, I'm expecting them to berate me for even asking.

Marketing is a huge part of publishing a book, and in my eyes, the scariest. I've been judged by people so much in life and now I have to go through it all again. As much as it pains me to send those emails, I know I have to do it.

I have to give Blood and Water a fighting chance.

If I just release it and don't bother marketing it, it won't sell. I need to market so people can find it, no matter how terrifying it is.

My next step is to put up posters around my hometown and ask libraries if they would be interested in displaying a poster. While writing, editing and publishing the book was scary, this is so much worse.

My anxiety is threatening to overpower me once again, but I'm fighting back. Yes, it might take me a few hours to send an email and yes, fretting so much about a poster can seem trivial.

But in my eyes, it's terrifying.

I've seen a lot of people talk about authors hating marketing because they're introverts and hate to big themselves up. I however, want to talk about the mental toll marketing can have.

It doesn't matter how mentally strong you are, marketing is draining and absolutely terrifying. It's not just about being an introvert, it's about being genuinely scared of rejection.

As authors we face rejection at every angle, marketing is just something else to worry about. Querying was bad enough, but in the end every email I sent out I knew I would get a 'no' from. That's when I decided to self publish. But with marketing, you can't just decide not to do it, it's vital for your book.

I'm hoping that one day I will just go numb to the feeling of marketing like I did with querying, and then it won't scare me anymore. Until that day, if it ever comes, I'm going to carry on trying.

Whether it takes minutes or hours, I will continue to market my books.

That's it for this week, I hope you enjoyed. See you next week.

My First Book Launch Party

Hi all,

For anyone who has missed my social media posts - I attended the launch party for Adverbially Challenged Volume Four and Sensorially Challenged Volume Two on Tuesday. It was my first ever launch party and writing event that I've ever attended.

All the readers at the event

My boyfriend and I went to a cat cafe, You & Meow, beforehand to try and settle my anxiety. Although I have a cat at home, Bristol is a two hour drive from where we live, so I needed to pet some cats just before the launch party. The cats were all very sweet and playful, they even had some new kittens! Overall it was a great experience and helped me calm down a bit. We also had some delicious carrot cake that we had to eat quickly because a few of the cats were eyeing it up.

One of the cats trying to get a taste of my smoothie

Now, for the launch party itself.

There was quite a lot of people there, most getting ready to read their stories in front of everyone. My stomach churned the entire time as I was waiting for my slot. Eventually my turn came and I managed to make my way up to the stage without tripping. Although the reading of my story, Mother Cat, was short and a bit rushed, I managed to do it. The entire time I was waiting to go up I felt like I was back in school again, about to do a presentation in front of the whole class. The whole experience made me very thankful that I'm not in school anymore!

Me, reading ‘Mother Cat’ from Adverbially Challenged Volume Four

The evening was great and I loved the stories that were read out by others. I've never seen so many authors in one place, and it was good to see that so many people have a passion for writing.

Would I do it again?

Yes.

Would I read another story out?

Maybe.

The experience brought back a lot of bad memories from my school days, so I'm not sure if I could put myself through that again. I'm so glad I faced my fears and did it though, and that my boyfriend was there to support me.

I hope you enjoyed this week's blog post.

See you next week!

Why I Didn't Use a Pen Name

Hi all,

This week I'm going to talk about why I didn't use a pen name instead of my real name for my books. For those who don't know, a pen name is a pseudonym for an author to write under instead of using their real name. There's a variety of reasons why authors choose pen names, but that's not what this blog post is about.

As I've written about in the past, I do suffer from depression and anxiety and have done so for many years. Although I'm much better now, I spent years in the dark with regards to my mental health as not many people listened. I only got diagnosed three years ago, after going to three separate doctors at three separate surgeries.

I was so tempted to use a pen name because I thought that the people who I went to school with wouldn't be able to find me. I wanted to hide from them, in case they decided to go after me again and everyone sided with them. Many of my 'friends' ignored how I was feeling, and thought I was just making it up for attention. I was worried that they would find my books and slam me online if I used my real name. I thought they would just tell people that I'm lying and they would be instantly believed.

I didn't want my career dragged through the mud.

I didn't want those people dragging me back to my darkest days.

However, once I started taking medication my mindset changed. I didn't want to hide from those people anymore.

I wanted them to find me.

I wanted them to see that despite everything I've still kept going and I haven't succumbed to their idea of me - a quiet girl doing absolutely nothing with her life.

I want them to see that despite mentally being destroyed for years, I'm still pursuing my dreams. I don't care if they find me now. I don't care if they find my books and hate them.

I beat them.

I beat their preconceived idea of me.

Now that my anxiety has lessened, I now realise that it was silly to think that everyone would side with them. Many people I've met on Twitter have been extremely supportive of me, and I doubt one nasty person slamming me online would sway them so easily.

Many authors use pen names for a variety of reasons, but I realised that a pen name won't protect me from these people. It was the wrong reason to use a pen name, to hide from people I hadn't seen for years.

So, I am using my real name.

If people want to use a pen name to hide their identity - so be it. I'm just glad that they're getting their work out there. It's just that using one wasn't for me.

Some of these people have found my Facebook or Twitter pages I'm sure, but I'm not bothered. It means they can see what I've become now - a strong woman rather than the timid little girl they still envision me as.

That's it for this week, hope you enjoyed the post! A little update on Blood and Water - it will be available for preorder over the next few weeks, so keep an eye out!

Writing Characters with Anxiety

Hi all,

This week I'm taking a break from blogging about Elemental Dragons to talk about writing characters with anxiety. As I suffer from anxiety and depression myself, I want to see these characters portrayed correctly so people who may be suffering can recognise the signs.

When I wrote Blood and Water I was seventeen and I had no diagnosis. So I thought it was normal to worry about everything and second guess your decisions so I wrote Hazel the same way. It was only when I entered an early version of Blood and Water in a contest two years later did I realise that this behaviour wasn't normal. The judges loved how I portrayed Hazel's anxiety, and how real it felt. It all clicked on my mind that I had unknowingly given my main character anxiety. 

So, I want to share with you all how to portray anxiety as realistically as possible.

Have them second guess every decision they make.

Anxiety will make your character worry about every decision they make. They are terrified of making the wrong one, even if they eventually make the right decision. If you are writing in first person, you can have them talk to themselves about the decisions they make. You can also use this as a way of the character trying to motivate themselves to make a certain decision.

There's a difference between being shy and being anxious.

Just because your character is shy and quiet it doesn't make them anxious. Although people who suffer from anxiety in some cases can be naturally quiet and shy, like me, it doesn't mean that it's a sure sign. Characters can be quiet and shy around others but loud and excitable around their friendship group or family. Quiet doesn't equal anxiety.

Trust.

With my anxiety, I find it hard to trust others. I'm extremely conscious of the fact that they could break that trust any second, as many people have in the past. Especially when it comes to working in groups. I constantly worry that people won't do their part and mess everything up. Not everyone with anxiety struggles with trust though.

Appetite.

Some people with anxiety find it hard to eat at certain times due to feeling too anxious. Despite being twenty two, I still can't eat before ten o'clock in the morning because I get so nauseous. Unfortunately years of schoolwork and exam stress have left me with a weak stomach in the mornings. When writing anxious characters with appetite problems, don't make it cliche. Some anxious people struggle to eat around a certain meal time, such as breakfast. Don't have them never eat due to being anxious because some people overeat to combat their anxiety.

Treatment by other characters.

Not everyone is understanding about anxiety. It's only when I entered the workplace did I start to get treated like anyone else despite my mental health. Although some characters can be sympathetic to anxious characters and offer help wherever they can, be mindful that some won't. The following is a list of reasons why other characters may not help characters with anxiety:

- Feeling like they're just seeking attention.

- Finding them weak.

- Trying to 'help' by being tough on them.

- Bullying them for being different. 

- Not knowing enough about mental health.

Try to create a diverse group of characters. Some who will help, and some who won't. 

Self conscious.

So many people with anxiety struggle with being self conscious. You feel like people are watching you no matter what you do, and it can be choking. Be mindful that in some situations your anxious character might struggle due to feeling self conscious about how they look or how they're doing something.

Panic attacks.

Not everyone with anxiety suffers from panic attacks. If you are unsure how to write a panic attack, don't. They can be really hard to get right as not all panic attacks are the same. Not everyone rocks back and forth in a panicked state. Some other types of panic attacks are:

- Hyperventilating.

- Cursing.

- Self harm.

- Angry outburst.

- Violence.

- Running away.

Use either one or a mix of panic attack types to make them realistic.

Example of Hazel's anxiety in Blood and Water

This list is by no means the complete spectrum of anxiety, I just picked a few that I think are most important when writing anxiety. I hope this helps anyone who is considering writing a character with mental health issues.

Let me know if you enjoyed, and if you want me to do a 'part two' of sorts about characters with depression.

See you next week!

How My Cats Have Influenced My Writing

Hi all!

This week I'm going to talk about my cats, and how each of them has influenced my writing. While pets can be cuddly and fun to play with, they can inspire us in so many ways!

Normie.

Me and Normie, one of the few pictures of us together

Unfortunately I don't remember Normie that much because he ran away when I was little. Luckily my Mum managed to take a few pictures of us together when I was a baby. Although I don't remember him that much, I still wanted to honour him in Blood and Water. He is Hazel and Wes' pet, a tiny Siamese kitten who can communicate with the dragons. Because I don't remember him that well I've made him a new personality, in Blood and Water he is confident and loves attention. Despite not being with me for very long, I still love him dearly.

Rocky.

A rare picture of Rocky awake

After years of begging to get a cat my Mum finally relented when I was eleven. Rocky was only twelve weeks old at the time, and was a bit of a scaredy cat for the first few days. However he soon came out of his shell and we bonded quite quickly. For many years he was my main source of inspiration, every story had him as the main character. In one he was a cat spy, in another he could suddenly speak and he even lived in a forest in one story. 

Despite all the adventures I wrote about him partaking in, he's the opposite in real life. He's lazy, loves nothing more than to sleep and eat tuna. But, he's also very protective. Whenever I went outside he would follow me around the street, and wouldn't stop until I went back inside. For Blood and Water I took his protective aspect and made him Hazel's overprotective brother. He's a main character in the Elemental Dragons series, and I'm glad that I've finally found a story that he shines in.

Mishka.

Mishka, playing in her favourite cat tree

If you follow me on Twitter I quite often post pictures of the youngest member of my cat family. She's lved with us for just over a year, after we got her at eight weeks old. Unlike Rocky, she's loud, playful and doesn't think things through. She can be a pain sometimes, but I do love her dearly. My boyfriend and I did a cat IQ test for her, and she scored twenty points below the average for her age. So we quite often joke that her head is just like a wind tunnel.

I haven't quite managed to fit her into a story yet, I'm still trying to find the right one for her. However, she is the main influence for how the dragons behave in Blood and Water. To how they eat, play and interact with each other. Her silliness helps me figure out how dragons would behave if they were paired with humans.

Next week I'm going to make a blog post about an anthology I'm in, out on the 16th March, so keep your eyes peeled!

Teenage Writers

Hi all!

This week I'm going to talk about writing as a teenager. I've seen a lot of stuff online that says this is an 'issue' and I want to prove otherwise.

I finished the first draft of Blood and Water when I was seventeen. I was curious how to go about editing and preparing it for querying so I read a lot of blog posts from other authors. These were very helpful to read as they taught me how to self edit effectively. However, some I came across were very much against teenagers publishing, or even writing.

Some argued that they are too immature, that they will wreck their chances in the industry before they have even stepped out the door. I think this is really unfair as I've heard of more older authors who destroy their chances by bad mouthing agents or not following submission guidelines. Teenagers aren't the only ones who do it. A lot are more mature than others give them credit for, they may have been writing since they were young and want to try to write a novel. It's what I did.

I wrote a lot of stories about cats until I was about thirteen, then I started writing Fanfiction. Both of these styles of writing helped me grow my writing abilities, but some authors were saying that teenagers should stick to Fanfiction until they are 'old enough'. I think this is really unfair, there is no age where you can start writing novels. If teenagers want to do it, it doesn't harm anyone. There isn't a minimum age you need to be to get an agent.

I also think it's a bit demeaning towards their younger fans, age is just a number. If they have an idea they want to turn into a novel, encourage them. There's no point in putting people down, it doesn't make you a better writer.

Why do some people think that teenagers writing is a problem?

If they want to write, let them. It doesn't effect your writing at all, so these people should just concentrate on themselves rather than worrying about everyone else.

I loved writing when I was younger, and to see stuff like that really put me down as I thought I wouldn't be taken seriously.
When I was researching agents I came across one who had a sixteen year old as one of her clients, which taught me that agents don't care about your age. They just want a good book.

Although I ended up not querying Blood and Water until January 2018, I don't regret putting it off. It helped my writing to grow and become better.

Now that I'm self publishing, I really want to inspire young people to write, no matter their age. I've tried to search for some of the posts as examples but a lot have been taken down. I'm not sure whether it's because they received backlash or their perspective changed. Either way, I'm happy they're gone. As writers we need to encourage each other, not put other people down.

Young people can write just as well as someone who is older, and as someone who writes for teenagers, I want to encourage them.

Erin Hunter inspired me when I was young, and I want to inspire young adults as she inspired me. I want them to have an escape, an opportunity to forget about everything and get lost in a book. One day I hope that Elemental Dragons or one of my other series will inspire someone to chase their dreams of writing.

That's what I hate it when people bad mouth teenage authors, we're supposed to inspiring and encouraging them. Writing about how 'immature' and 'unprofessional' they are will just put them off.

I would have been heartbroken if my favourite author and mouthed part of their fan base just because of their age. That's why I'll try my hardest to encourage young people through my writing. I want to give them the same opportunity for escape that I had.

That's it for this week! Next week I'm going to write about Twitter Pitch Parties, and how they can help you get an agent.

See you next week!